Month: August 2023

After moving into our rental house and watching my husband grow stronger and regain almost all of his mobility, we settled into a comfortable routine of medical appointments and local excursions. We were located nearly midway between Chicago and Milwaukee. Never having lived anywhere but New York, I was thrilled to find great restaurants, shopping and entertainment. We even found a pizza restaurant that had really good cannolis. I asked who made them and they told me the secret. The shells and filling are delivered from, you guessed it, New York. We had created a life in Illinois and it was comfortable. Time to shake things up a bit! You already had a glimpse of our epic trek through O’Hare. We finally were onboard the ship en route to Alaska. That first night after dinner, drinks and great company we collapsed onto the very comfortable cabin bed.

Next stop Ketchikan. Ketchikan was originally a summer fish camp for Tlingit natives and was established as a town in 1885. It has the world’s largest collection of standing totem poles and looks exactly as you would expect. An absolutely wonderful glimpse into the past.

What to do in Ketchikan? First thing we see as we stepped off the ship is an add for ziplining in the Alaskan rain forest. The cousin, the friend and myself were all in. My husband not so much. His mobility was really good but his confidence wasn’t quite there. In his defense, this is the man who would never go on amusement park rides. His idea of fun was sitting on our cabin’s balcony with Lenny while enjoying the scenery and good scotch.

I think it’s time to introduce some of the characters in this adventure. My husband, Charlie otherwise known as Butch, the cousin, Rosemarie or Roe, the friends, Dolores, Joanne and Fredricka or Fred.

Ziplining was a blast but Roe decided to tell us halfway through the course that she’s terrified of heights. Too late now. The zipline was the only way back. To make matters worse when you got to the end of the course, you had to repel down!

Once you got back on solid ground, there was another long, steep drop to the end of the course that could be reached either by stairs or a scary wood slide. By now, Roe was determined to finish the course without taking the easy way out and she did. Although she did say, “don’t ever ask me to go ziplining again”. I forgot to remind her, it was her idea.

The next day we were on our way to Juneau. The plan was Butch and I were going for a dog sled ride on the glacier. This was the one thing he was absolutely passionate about doing. The the dog sled camp is accessed by helicopter and if you haven’t heard, the weather in Alaska gives the Pacific Northwest a run for its money. That morning, the fog was so thick, flying was out of the question. Since we were only there for a day, the dog sled ride might not happen but I was determined to find a way. Downtown Juneau is worth exploring. Lots of history, lots of shopping (of course) and a central area where there were several kiosks for tourist excursions. I found one advertising a trip to the dog sled camp and was assured that if the fog cleared, they would be flying. I instantly booked two slots for us and then had to wait to see if the weather would cooperate. To pass the time, I wandered into a large all purpose souvenir shop. The jewelry counter caught my eye and I walked over to “browse”. The owner asked if I needed help and I declined. I was just looking. He showed me a beautiful blue and white diamond ring and looked at me for what seemed a long time. He then said “you’re from New York”. It was not a question but a statement. Thinking I had just met the first psychic jeweler, I asked how he knew. He told me he had sold me a ring in St. Thomas over 10 years ago. He was right. When I got back to the ship and told Butch and he insisted I go back to get the ring. Every time I wear it, I have the best memories. So much for “just looking”. The weather did clear and we were able to go for the eagerly anticipated dogsled ride. What an amazing excursion. We were at the camp of the previous years second place Iditarod team. What these dogs are capable of is incredible. Their preferred climate is -20 degrees or colder and they would rather sleep on the roof of their doghouse than in it. We were given the opportunity to drive the dog sled and I did. Butch was content to ride (under the blanket).

All in all, this was a great day. Dinner that night was a lively exchange of today’s experiences and since the day had started early, we decided it was time to say goodnight.

Tomorrow, on to Skagway. After exploring this former gold rush town, we took a ride on the White Pass and Yukon Route railway.

Magnificent scenery. For a short distance, the train actually passes through Canada. The train ride was a good choice. We got to see the many different faces of southern Alaska. The town, the rural areas with homesteaders and the beautifully desolate mountainous areas.

On to Sitka. Sitka is located on Baranof island and has a complicated history. Originally an indigenous fishing camp settlement, it came under Russian control in 1799. In 1867, the United States purchased Alaska and it became part of the U.S. Sitka is accessed by tender from the cruise ships which needless to say, is not as calm as the large ship with stabilizers. Lenny was not a fan but did his best to get on and off.

The best way to describe Sitka is serene. We spent the day wandering around, marveling at the gorgeous flowers, window shopping, actually shopping and saw the beautiful Russian Orthodox Cathedral.

A pretty perfect day. Getting off the tender, the water became a bit rough. It happened with Lenny halfway on the ramp. He decided the best thing to do was to go back on the tender and that was it. He was not moving. We tried everything we could think of to encourage him but moving a 95 pound dog when he’s determined to stay put is not going to happen. At that point, a man behind us asked if he could help and we quickly agreed. In one quick movement he grabbed the handle of Lenny’s service dog vest and lifted him onto the ship! Time for dinner, sleep and tomorrow’s adventure.

The next day we were taken to a preserve where we saw bison, elk and bald eagles. There was a circular area with a number of stations where recreations of the different Alaskan tribe houses were on display. In the center, there was an arch made of whale rib bones. Lenny apparently thought this was a great location for a photo op.

The highlight of this excursion was a performance by young native dancers. We were told this is a program for at risk youth which reintroduces them to the customs and traditions of their respective nations. The map on the wall behind the dancers depicts the areas of the state where each nation originated. The performance was amazing and contained elements of the different nations the dancers were from.

This was the last day of our cruise but we still had a three day train tour to Denali to look forward to.

It was an eight hour train ride to the resort complex where we would be spending the next two nights. The train was fun. The passenger car had a glass roof which gave us an unobstructed view of everything. It also had a dining car serving really good food. Following the train photo, there is a photo of what looks like mountain scenery. If you enlarge it, you’ll see two Dall sheep walking along narrow rocky ledges. They are unbelievably sure footed.

We spent the night at an appropriately rustic collection of mini log cabins and were off early the next morning to see the majestic Denali. Not! Our guide told us about the 30% club which unfortunately, we did not get to join that day. 70% of the time Denali is shrouded in heavy fog and it was that day. It was however, another day of awesome scenery. The resort had a good restaurant and an amazing gift shop with many locally made items. The next day were back on the train to Fairbanks and our flight home. Sadly, our Alaskan odyssey had come to an end. This was the first major trip Butch and I had taken since his cancer diagnosis and treatment. Considering all he had been through, it was relatively stress free. Whatever stage you are at in your health journey, almost every limitation can be managed. Travel is possible. For our next adventure, we decided to do a transatlantic cruise starting in England and stopping in France, Ireland, Iceland and Canada.

After finally orchestrating and completing our move, we now had time to focus on treatment and therapy. As I mentioned, I work remotely so I was able to drive my husband to the hospital as needed. I had lived in New York my entire life and had always felt the need to live near a large body of water so I was unsure if I was going to enjoy living in the Midwest. As it turns out, we lived a little over a mile from Lake Michigan. If you haven’t seen it, it looks like an ocean, a fresh water ocean.

Most of 2008 was dedicated to recovery. We were able to explore the area and discovered a wealth of opportunity. We were very close to the Wisconsin border where there was an Outlet Mall, an amazing employee owned supermarket, the headquarters of Jelly Belly candies and a place called the Mars Cheese Castle where cheese reigned. It’s Wisconsin! When were were there, the Cheese Castle was a modest one story masonry building. I visited a few years ago. It has been rebuilt and is now a genuine castle.

Close to our house there were numerous parks, of course the lake, a number of good restaurants and Chicago was a 40 minute commute away. I had been to Chicago before but now I could visit at will. Chicago has a wonderful theater district and my favorite museum, the Field Museum. We were able to see Jersey Boys and Rent which due to circumstance, we had missed in New York. There were always activities and events at the cancer hospital and as my husband got stronger, we both became members of an organization dedicated to helping new and existing patients live the best life possible. The message we strove to impart, especially to patients who appeared defeated, was that you came here for treatment primarily to get your life back. It may not be exactly as it was, but it can be so much better than you realize. It will take work and determination but in the long run, worth the effort.

My sister in law, my nephew, my aunt and my cousin came to visit. We did the tourist thing in Chicago and caught a Brewers game in Milwaukee.

On a sad note, my father in law passed away in November, in Florida and since my husband had just started a new round of radiation treatments that could not be interrupted, I had to make the arrangements. Dad wanted to be buried in New York next to his wife so I spent the next week flying from Illinois to Florida to New York and back to Illinois. It was worth it. The service was intimate and beautiful. My husband did have the opportunity to speak to his dad in the hospital less than an hour before he passed. The conversation ended with them both at peace.

We spent the holidays with my husband’s cousin and her family and friends we had made at the hospital.

2009 arrived on schedule. We braved the winter weather (really no worse than New York). Things were looking up. My husband’s cancer was in remission and he was back to about 90% of his former self. We saw baseball games in Baltimore and St Louis. Both are definitely worth a visit.

We took a trip back to New York and thanks to a friend, we were able to see the nearly completed Yankee Stadium and the new home of the Mets, Citifield.

We were able to take Lenny with us to all these destinations. The highlight of that year was the cruise to Alaska, with Lenny of course.

The cruise wasn’t on our radar until my husband’s cousin (and one of my closest friends) mentioned she was taking this trip and asked if we wanted to join her and her friends. After the intensity of the past two years it sounded like a great idea. If you are physically able, I highly recommend a vacation. Being somewhere far from the stresses of illness and treatment is good medicine. It also gives you an idea of what you are capable of. Strength and stamina can vary during treatment but the chance to experience a different environment with loved ones can be its own form of therapy. The cruise began in Vancouver which was breathtaking but getting there was a challenge. The airline couldn’t locate Lenny’s paperwork or a wheelchair. This was O’Hare after all. The papers and wheelchair finally surfaced and we were taken to the gate. We had arrived 4 hours early and this had taken up at nearly an hour. At least another hour later, an announcement about a gate change was barely audible and we went to the wrong gate. After waiting another hour+ at a gate with no activity, I went to information and was directed to the correct gate. By now, it was time to board and the gate we needed was at the opposite end of the airport. I was able to commandeer an airport employee with a golf cart who put us, our bags and Lenny on the cart and raced to the gate. We arrived with minutes to spare. But we made it. In a case like this, not enough can be said for persistence. After the mad airport dash, we were finally able to take a breath and eagerly anticipated boarding the ship.

Between 2008 and 2013 there are several trips I had taken with my husband that I have not yet shared. Necessity being the mother of invention (or innovation), a lot of useful travel information was born from need. Although I’m trying to stick to the yearly format, these adventures will be interspersed within the consecutive years.

At this point I think it’s important to backtrack to 2008. We were living in New York on Long Island. My husband had been diagnosed with stage 3-B lung cancer the previous year and the treatment was so aggressive he wound up in the ICU for nearly four weeks. He required a tracheotomy and was placed on a ventilator and a feeding tube, now unable to speak or eat. A word of caution here. I realized since my husband was now unable to communicate verbally, something needed to be done. A patient who has no mental handicap but is unable to speak is at a distinct disadvantage. There were a number of times where I needed to be consulted regarding medical decisions so that we could make informed choices. Butch was already familiar with the internet and had an email address so I bought him a laptop. I work remotely and I am constantly monitoring my email so we could communicate almost instantly. Now, with nearly everyone in possession of a cell phone, communication is so much easier. After a four month stay in a nursing/rehabilitation facility we had decided the best course of action was to move to Illinois where his cancer was being treated. He was severely compromised after the rehab stay and the cancer hospital had all the care he would need under one roof. However, this required a reevaluation at the cancer hospital before we could finalize the move. We planned to spend four days in Illinois which would give us enough time for the required tests. The logistics of this trip were challenging. We were flying there and with very short notice we were informed he had to have an oxygen concentrator. Not every brand is airline approved. This is were the internet is invaluable. Within an hour, I had found a company that reasonably rented the brand we needed and it was shipped overnight. All we had to do was return it at the end of our trip. With oxygen concentrator in hand, we made the trip and the reevaluation was successful. We also managed to secure a furnished rental house for the next year.

In order to best take advantage of the excellent care he would now have daily access to, we eventually stayed two years. The man who was released from the rehab facility severely underweight with leg braces, a tracheotomy and a feeding tube regained his weight, his mobility, lost the feeding tube and regained the ability to speak, eat and drink. The leg braces were gone for good.

We were to move into the rental house two months after the reevaluation. Initially, although the move was to be for only a year, arranging it was a huge challenge. We had planned to rent our house while we were gone so we also had to move everything out while deciding what to bring with us. We also had a dog, a Golden Retriever named Lenny.

Leaving him behind was out of the question. We had adopted him from a local person who was moving to Florida and couldn’t take him. We lived in the township where Guide Dogs for the Blind is located and Lenny had started life as a puppy destined to be a Guide Dog. He was trained for a year but grew so big that he was phased out of the program for fear he would develop hip dysplasia. He never did. Maybe it was the dog treats laced with glucosamine. Prompted by an episode of Dog Whisperer and because of his early training, we realized he was well suited to be a service dog. The minute I put the Service Dog vest on him, he stood at attention and apparently remembered his training. He was able to fly in the plane cabin with us and even went on a cruise. Besides being smart, Goldens are extremely intuitive. For the rest of his life, he knew immediately when my husband wasn’t feeling well. One problem solved. Next problem, where to store the contents of our home. Pods or any similar company is the best and easiest way to handle this. They come to you, drop off the container and will pick it up and store it in a climate controlled facility. I can’t speak for now but at the time, the fee was very reasonable. Of course you will need friends, family or movers to load the container. Friends and family will typically work for a meal and a drink. We also had friends who drove our fully loaded car to the rental house. They dropped it off at the house and we flew them home. We flew to Chicago with Lenny and were picked up by a hospital car. We could finally take a breath and settle into the rental house. Now instead of commuting every three weeks for tests and treatment, we would be traveling to visit friends and family. The next chapter of our lives was about to begin.

2016 was a year of change. After our amazing trek to Asia/China, things quieted down for a bit. Not for long. It was August 2016 and I was preparing to join Rose at her timeshare, for a week in the Poconos. If you’re not familiar, the Poconos are an old, established mountain resort area in Pennsylvania.

This had become an annual event where I would pick up my then six year old grandson in upstate New York, for a week of fun which included shopping for school clothes. This year, however, would be decidedly different. My grandson’s dad is my son who I lost in 2011 to the ever present opioid epidemic. His mom had been struggling since and was having a difficult time. I was planning to leave on Saturday but Thursday morning, I received a phone call from my grandson’s aunt asking if I could take him. Since that was the plan, I didn’t understand the question until she explained. He had been placed with this aunt on a temporary basis and she wanted me to take permanent custody of him. Talk about life turning on a dime! The week in the Poconos turned into me commuting back and forth to Schoharie, New York, four out of seven days but the end result was, I was granted joint custody with his mom. He was to live with me full time on Long Island. I was granted full decision making authority. Overnight, I became a single parent. The rest of 2016 feels like a blur.

We had his first ever birthday party where for the first time, he got to meet the whole other side of his family in addition to a new school, new friends and a completely different life.

He’s now 13 and a typical teenager. Since he is innately curious, I was able to instill in him a desire to travel. This created a perfect opportunity to provide him with gifts of travel rather than the latest video game. So far, we’ve been to Broadway shows, Arizona and the Grand Canyon, North Carolina and Chicago. Niagara Falls is next and then Italy. 2016 ended with us spending the holidays in Savannah where my daughter and son in law had relocated. Time to take a breath and figure out next year. Now the challenge becomes how do I continue to travel while raising a 7 year old? Keep reading…